Rhyming around on the night before Thanksgiving

Published 11/22/05

I’m not sure what it is about the holidays but they seem to inspire in me a severe case of Clement Moore envy. When my poetry students are having rhymer’s block, I tell them that cheap imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Going all the way back to my high school days, I have flattered Mr. Moore with titles such as “Twas the Night Before Halloween,” “Twas the Night Before Labor Day” and “Twas the Night Before the Fourth of July” (which would have been more simply titled, “Twas the Evening of July 3rd””). Then there was “Twas the Night Before New Year’s (sometimes known as, “Twas December 31st”), “Twas the Night Before Mother’s Day” and “Twas The Night Before Valentine’s Day” (or “Twas An Evening of Frantic Shopping").

I guess it’s the fact that this holiday poem is just a sitting duck when it comes to parody, pastiche and cheap imitation. All the writer has to do is pull the trigger—and fill in a few blanks.

“Twas the Night” is a big fat target because it draws upon one of the most endearing folk fables of our time. You have the anticipation of a mythical messianic figure the night before an apocalypse of gorging and giving, you have the literal coming of the long expected figure who, as it turns out, “looks like a peddler just opening his pack,” and then you have the disappearance of the hero who lays his finger up his nose or aside of his nose or something like that, his mission complete.

This week’s holiday, a universal harvest celebration which the pilgrims Americanized in the 1600s, easily lends itself to a modern version of “Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving”…

’Twas the night before Thanksgiving
When all through the house
Not a creature was stirring…
And here’s the rub: it’s the night before opening day of the eating season and nobody’s stirrin’ nuthin’. Not even the figgy pudding.

The next verse is key because it’s here that the poet introduces the Christ figure, or in the case of Thanksgiving, the chef figure. It could be the anticipation of The Galloping Gourmet or Julia Childs or even Emeril. Or you could give the poem a protagonist who provides interest-added…

The pots and pans were hung by the kitchen with care,
In hopes that Martha Stewart soon would be there.
Yo, Martha! New line of ankle bracelets?
For she’s the jolly good felon…

Are you with me? Of course, you can always pull out your poetic license while composing poetry…

The children were nestled all snug in their futons,
What danced in their heads were visions of barbecued turkey, garlic mashed potatoes, cornbread sourdough stuffing, cheddar biscuits, pumpkin pie and caramel apple salad complete with…croutons

I like to give my poems a regional and local angle…

And mamma in her ’kerchief, and I in my ND cap,
Had just settled our brains for a late November nap...
If Martha’s still under house arrest, we’ll take the family to the Toast.


…While praising my employer in anticipation of my holiday bonus…

When out on the lawn there arose a noise of suspicion
I knew it was delivery of my Herald Bulletin Special Four Color Thanksgiving Edition.

This next verse has always intrigued me because it appears that the narrator is becoming completely unhinged…

Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash, ripped out the screens and dropped two floors with a crash.
Hmm. Must have been the sampling of all that sugar-added cranberry sauce the night before Thanksgiving…

Then comes the verse that speaks to “everyman”—or everywoman. I mean, how many of us go outside at night, stand in the backyard, dream about other places in time and space, and look up at the moon? On the night before Thanksgiving, we might see…

On the moon of the stuffed turkey breast, I saw new fallen giblet gravy, praline sweet potatoes, baked apple pecan dressing, candied butternut squash, pumpkin cheese cake, apple cider cinnamon bread…

Speaking of becoming unhinged. That’ll add luster to those durn mid day objects below. So if you get inspired to do some rhyme over the holidays, do like me. Just mimic the master and copy the classic.

Happy Thanksgiving to all and to all a good meal!