Do stupid questions advance modern civilization?
Published 1/24/06
Here’s an answer to the individual who once said, “There’s no such thing as a stupid question.” I found the following in the universe of the Internet and then was compelled to write a few of my own…
Did shaved ice have whiskers before it was shaved? What’s a synonym for “thesaurus”? When cows laugh, does milk come out of their noses?
When dog food is labeled “new and improved tasting,” who tests it? What do sheep count when they can’t go to sleep? Can you get indigestion from swallowing your pride?
What happens if you take No-Doze and wash it down with Nyquil? How come wrong numbers are never busy? Do people in Australia call the rest of the world “Up Over”?
After they make Styrofoam, what do they ship it in? Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to? Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Whose cruel idea was it to put an “s” in the word “lisp”? Why are America’s parks administered by the Department of Interior? Has the winner of a Miss America pageant ever wished for world anarchy?
Why does an alarm clock go “off” when it begins ringing? Why doesn’t onomatopoeia sound like what it is? Why don’t you ever hear of “gruntled employees”?
Why is it called a building when it’s already built? Why is it called a bust when it stops right before the part it is named after? Why is it called a TV “set” when you only get one?
Why is it so hard to remember how to spell “mnemonic”? Why isn’t “acronym” spelled “A.C.R.O.N.Y.M.”? Why is it that when you’re driving and trying to find an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
Why is it when a door is open it’s “ajar,” but when a jar is open it’s not “adoor”? Why is Mickey Mouse bigger than his dog Pluto? Why is the word “abbreviate” so long?
Is it possible for a fish to drown? Should the insert of an a cappella CD list all the studio musicians? Is it true that a Type A personality is a human doing and a Type B a human being?
Why isn’t the word ennui spelled “n-u-i”? Is it really possible to specialize in general studies at college? What do people who have blue jeans jobs wear on “Casual Friday”?
Why does the dashboard of my van have a button for a “rear wiper”? Is having children an exercise in fertility? Why do we sit in the stands? If we want to stretch our legs, can we go stand in the sits?
When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say for the photographer? Why do people always remember where they were when someone famous was killed unless they feel they might need an alibi? Why do people tell you when they are speechless?
Why do they report power outages on TV? If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too? If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds? Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny? If you send me your dumb questions, will I post them at jackwilliams.blogspot.com?
Log on and see.
Here’s an answer to the individual who once said, “There’s no such thing as a stupid question.” I found the following in the universe of the Internet and then was compelled to write a few of my own…
Did shaved ice have whiskers before it was shaved? What’s a synonym for “thesaurus”? When cows laugh, does milk come out of their noses?
When dog food is labeled “new and improved tasting,” who tests it? What do sheep count when they can’t go to sleep? Can you get indigestion from swallowing your pride?
What happens if you take No-Doze and wash it down with Nyquil? How come wrong numbers are never busy? Do people in Australia call the rest of the world “Up Over”?
After they make Styrofoam, what do they ship it in? Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to? Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Whose cruel idea was it to put an “s” in the word “lisp”? Why are America’s parks administered by the Department of Interior? Has the winner of a Miss America pageant ever wished for world anarchy?
Why does an alarm clock go “off” when it begins ringing? Why doesn’t onomatopoeia sound like what it is? Why don’t you ever hear of “gruntled employees”?
Why is it called a building when it’s already built? Why is it called a bust when it stops right before the part it is named after? Why is it called a TV “set” when you only get one?
Why is it so hard to remember how to spell “mnemonic”? Why isn’t “acronym” spelled “A.C.R.O.N.Y.M.”? Why is it that when you’re driving and trying to find an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
Why is it when a door is open it’s “ajar,” but when a jar is open it’s not “adoor”? Why is Mickey Mouse bigger than his dog Pluto? Why is the word “abbreviate” so long?
Is it possible for a fish to drown? Should the insert of an a cappella CD list all the studio musicians? Is it true that a Type A personality is a human doing and a Type B a human being?
Why isn’t the word ennui spelled “n-u-i”? Is it really possible to specialize in general studies at college? What do people who have blue jeans jobs wear on “Casual Friday”?
Why does the dashboard of my van have a button for a “rear wiper”? Is having children an exercise in fertility? Why do we sit in the stands? If we want to stretch our legs, can we go stand in the sits?
When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say for the photographer? Why do people always remember where they were when someone famous was killed unless they feel they might need an alibi? Why do people tell you when they are speechless?
Why do they report power outages on TV? If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too? If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds? Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny? If you send me your dumb questions, will I post them at jackwilliams.blogspot.com?
Log on and see.
posted by Jack W. Williams | 11:11 AM
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