New test helps 50-plus folks calculate time left

Published 3/21/06

From time to time, I like to look at my biological clock and see how much living I have left. So I was intrigued last month when I heard that researchers at the San Francisco Veterans Affairs Medical Center had developed a quiz to help those of us 50 or more determine our chances of dropping dead in the next four years.

Uh…why would we want to know this? Researchers say the survey can give us a glimpse into our future—or whether we have a future.

Points are given in each of the 12 risk categories which are factors in survival. So tally your score as you go—I’ll do the same—and let’s see where we fall in the Death Risk Score Box provided following the quiz.

1. The Year Factor: Give me a big fat zero in this category. But remember, in this exercise, getting nothing is good.
0 points—50-59
1 point—60-64
2 points—65-69
3 points—70-74
4 points—75-79
5 points—80-84
7 points—85+

2. Mars or Venus?: Another case in which just being a man is a liability. Gender discrimination if ever I’ve seen it!
2 points—Men
0 points—Women

3. BMI: Eat, Drink & Be Heavy: The research says that normal Body Mass Index—25 or under—is a factor because lower than normal weight is a health risk for older people. To calculate your BMI, divide your weight in pounds by the total of your height in inches times your height in inches. Then multiply by 703. (I may be penalized points here because it took me an hour to do the math.)
1 point—Less than 25 BMI

4. Impaired Pancreas Penalty: Drat! I can’t operate heavy machinery either. Two-stroke penalty for me.
2 points—Diabetes

5. Cancer Diagnosis: This category excludes minor skin cancers. I’m clear here…so far.
2 points—Cancer

6. Breathe Deep: This quiz question asks if lung disease limits your activities or requires oxygen use at home. Give me a zero for every breath I take, every move I make.
2 points—Chronic Lung Disease

7. Ticker’s Track Record: Healthy heart history helps me here.
2 points—Congestive Heart Failure

8. Smoking or Non-Smoking: Points awarded—awarded?—to anyone who’s smoked cigarettes in the last week. Except for a couple Cubans in Cancun, I’ve lived my life in compliance with the surgeon general’s warning.
2 points—Cigarette Smoking

9. Now, Where Was I? You’re assessed points if showers and baths are a struggle due to health or memory problems. I never forget to take a shower.
2 points—Difficulty bathing or showering

10. Walk This Way: Take two points if walking several blocks is a challenge due to health problems. I get zero for ability, deserve a 2 for slothfulness.
2 points—Difficulty walking

11. Push & Pull: Your mortality may be at stake if you have difficulty pushing or pulling large objects like a living room chair because of a health problem. Of course, your marriage may be at stake if you’re faking ill health because you hate re-arranging the furniture. I’m cool. I pushed my mini van home other day.
2 points—Difficulty moving large objects

12. Personal Finance: If you struggle to manage money due to a health problem you face more than a financial risk. Technically, in the category of tracking income and outgo, I probably have a 64 percent chance of dying in the next four days.
2 points—Difficulty paying bills or tracking expenses

The Death Risk Score Box below shows your chances of dying in the next four years…
0-5 points—less than 4%
6-9 points—15%
10-13 points—42%
14+ points--64%

How’d you do? I hate to gloat, but based on my death risk score of four points, I should be around to see Coach Charlie Weis lead the Notre Dame Irish to at least one national title in the next four years.